A:tone.ment
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
1) You taught me a lot about myself, and for this I thank you. You started by simply telling and showing, and eventually you didn’t even realize how I had taken it upon myself to keep learning. I thank you for showing me that no matter how much of an impact someone has on your life, they can still be completely full of shit.
2) I swear to god if you were anyone else but you…I would never talk to you again. But you are you, and I am me, and we understand this fact. Just make more of an effort to be present, for me?
3) I honestly don’t think you will every fully comprehend how emotionally torn you left me. I would thank you for teaching me how to be so callous, but that would require me taking time out of my day to think about you directly. Saying this is already giving you too much power.
4) Stop being so hard on yourself. Look at me for christ’s sake, you have done a fucking spectacular job raising me, you completely balance him out, and you’re one of my best friends. It honestly kills me to see you be so hard on yourself, if I had one wish in this world it would be your closure.
5) I’m really sorry that we are not closer to each other. You’ve been present in my life for almost 7 years now and I only recently started to realize how special you are to me. I love you like a sister, but you don’t know this.
6) You’re a manipulative, scared little girl who gets her peace of mind by sleeping with whoever offers a few kinds words and a bed.
7) You really got me through last year, I don’t think you understand the significance you had on who I am as a person, (or at least intellectually, if I seem too full of hot air).
8) I miss you a lot, and I am really sad that I never got the chance to know who you were… you know what my feelings are.
9) I think you’re an amazing person. I don’t aspire to be you, but I really do strive to try and see the world how you see it.
10) Dear Lover, do you know why I saved you for last? The honest answer is that it took me a really long time to try and think of something that I wanted to tell you that you didn’t already know. I didn’t think it was possible for me to love anybody as much as I love you, honestly. Using the word love feels much too cliche, because so many people use this word to describe their heightened sense of commitment, or their mistaken feelings of lust. I can’t describe to you how comforting it is to know that if I feel stifled all I need to do is leave, because you will follow, and you will be ready when I am.. and you know what, that fact makes me even more sure that I want to spend my life with you. I have dreams about us being that adorable old couple who take walks together.
“Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns”
